Bouncing back from a dark place; I fudging did it and so can you!

November 10, 2017

It’s easy to feel sad and stay in that comfortable, dark place for-ever. To feel stuff, of course, is good. To feel makes you real and real is what we want. Isn’t it? To feel down for weeks or years on end, however, is not the way we should move through life. We’ve got to bounce back from tragedy and sadness. If not, it’ll eat you up inside.

Bouncing back from a dark place; AJ smiling with M&M’s around.
Living life like there’s no tomorrow. Eat some chocolate (M&M’s); they melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

As New York Times best-selling author Caroline Myss nicely put it, “Your biography becomes your biology.” In other words, how you live your life affects your health and your very existence. We’re not meant to stay wounded. We’ve got to bounce back and let go of the past and what could’ve been.

I had severe skin issues at an early age, with dermatologists, plastic surgeons, and more of the same — similar to the protagonist in “Not in a Million Years.” Poor me, thanks, but I picked myself back up. There’s no need to dwell on the past. And if I can, I’m just a normal dude, so can you. I’m just saying.

Reality can be tough, but it'll be okay.

Yes you can.
It’s a steep road, but eventually you’ll make it up there. Yes you can.

Perhaps it all starts with accepting reality, the now. You might be scarred and not like it, but it is what it is. Accept it. This is of course easier said than done. We want things to be instant.

It was in those dark years that I refound my love for exercise. From just inhaling fresh air and jumping rope at first … to re-gaining a love for martial arts and tennis. Our body needs a workout like it needs water and food. In our computerized lives, we often conveniently forget about this. We not just need it on a physical level … the mind also needs it. Twenty or thirty minutes of exercise, (potentially less), increases feel-good neurotransmitters in the brain. Meaning, you’ll often feel happier after a good workout.

I also switched to a vegetarian diet with loads of water and basically no dairy products and no sweet stuff. I used to be very strict on this, but slowly it has turned into a more relaxed regime. I still don’t do excessive sugar, sodas, and meat … but for a nice exotic chocolate bar I’m available ANY friggin’ time of day / night. I’m a real choco monster, whatever that might mean.

Cyclists in Vietnam.
Occasionally you still encounter cyclists in Vietnam, but not that often. It’s almost like getting a good sweat is uncool these days. Sigh! 🙁

As much as I believe in the benefits of exercise and healthy food habits, if you really want to be “out there” and bounce back you’ve got to explore your inner self. In particular, it’s good to realize that there’s a mind-body connection; your emotions and thoughts do affect your health. Hating your bitchy neighbor might be rationally justified, (for instance because she spray painted your barking husky), but hate is hate and it’ll go straight to, among others, your heart. In short, holding on to hate and anger will sooner or later tear you down – literally.

To speed up my recovery, someone introduced fifty-euro-an-hour NET sessions to me. NET stands for Neuro Emotional Technique. Fortunately, keeping in mind the price tag, I only needed a handful of these sessions. Its basic notion is that through muscle testing the therapist can remove psycho-emotional blocks, which may aid the body to repair itself. I personally am a big believer in NET, that also goes under different names such as applied kinesiology and NEI.

I can’t fully explain it, but by removing “emo-blocks” from my childhood and whatnot, I felt, as time passed, lighter and more aware. I’m not one for much psycho mumble. All I can say is, try.

Bouncing back with hugs, but how to graduate from the HUG Academy?
Maybe in the end all that matters are HUGS. But how to graduate from the Hug Academy?

Hand in hand with NET, I also started reading. Somehow I got my hands on Caroline Myss’s “Anatomy of the Spirit” and I instantly loved it. The same is true for Gary Zukav’s “Seat of the Soul” and Debbie Ford’s “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.” See for yourself if it suits you too.

One thing that I believe Gary once said, something that has stuck with me, is that you need to figure out what you like and what you don’t like. How to go through life if you don’t have this down yet. You just got to have this down. You need to know yourself.

In my case, I no longer do smoky bars and nor do I want to listen to people ramble on endlessly, in a headache producing monologue. It’s good to have boundaries.

Am I there yet? Of course not. I’m still bouncing back (to a semi-utopian place). It never stops. But … I’ve come a long way. I’m starting to own it. I’m no longer the person who I used to be. It’s all looking bright — and no longer dark.


Share this blog with the world